“My Student-Athlete is SOOOOOO Busy…I’ll Email the College Coach for Them!”:
3 Reasons Parents SHOULD NOT ‘Toe The Line’ in Contacting College Coaches for Their Child
Most parents of high school student-athletes want their child to receive that impressive athletic scholarship to continue their sport in college. The recruiting process can be very daunting to the student-athlete in the midst of their practice schedule, ACT/SAT test prep, and keeping up with their classes. It becomes so overwhelming many parents try to help their young athletes by emailing or calling a college coach using the excuse their child is too busy.
Having been a college coach for 14 years across all NCAA and NAIA levels, I want to offer a unique perspective. When a college coach receives hundreds of emails from prospective recruits every month, they find ways to narrow down who is a potential fit for their programs. When parents try to take over the communication between the student-athlete and the college coach, it can be detrimental to the process.
During the research for my book, Looking For A FULL RIDE?: An Insider’s Recruiting Guide, we interviewed 65 college coaches and athletic directors. 
Ninety-five percent of the recruiters said a parent making the initial contact was very much frowned upon. I asked follow-up questions to more fully understand why that well-intentioned email from a parent can often cause their child’s name to be crossed off their prospects list.
The majority of their answers centered around 3 basic principles:
1. Parent contact makes it appear the parent wants their child to continue in their sport more than their child does.
To make matters worse, the parent will often say, well little Susie or Johnny is shy and doesn’t know what to say to a coach. As college coaches, we want to interact with the student-athlete who could be in our program for the next four years. I have created 2 different resources to help the student-athlete in making these contacts. The first is a FREE Special Report: Strategies to Emailing a College Coach. I have also recently written a blog on the 13 Questions to Ask a College Coach. Each resource should help the high school student feel more confident in contacting the coach.
2. Contacts from parents sends a warning signal to the coach that the parent may be a ‘helicopter’ parent.
College coaches want parents who will be huge cheerleaders for their son or daughter, but not those who hover over every aspect of the college athletic program. There is nothing worse than a potential recruit sitting in a coach’s office and the parents asking a ton of questions while the child sits there quietly like a bump on a log. This ‘handholding’ behavior does not benefit the student-athlete at all long term in demonstrating their leadership skills to the coaching staff. To aid in this process, I have developed a Special Report on the Leadership Characteristics College Coaches Are Looking for In A Recruit.
3. Most importantly, parents contacting coaches signals that the student is likely lazy, struggles with time-management, and/or not mature enough to engage in adult conversations.
Being a college student-athlete requires much discipline and time management skills. The recruiting process often reveals a student’s readiness to balance everything at the next level. When a parent writes an email saying little Susie or Johnny is just way too busy to send emails to coaches, many university personnel view this as a major lack of maturity and inability to prioritize. It is imperative that students take the initiative in the interactions!
Recommendations for Student-Athlete Parents
- Have a serious conversation about the demands of being a student-athlete at the college level and if their child really wants to compete at the next level. You would be surprised how many student-athletes only pursue playing in college because their parents wanted them to do it.
- Help the student-athletes filter through which types of schools might be the best “fit” beyond athletic programs. Parents can help them organize various factors in terms of the college size, location, academic offerings, financial aid, and the campus social environment. See our recent blog on determining factors in choosing a college.
- Helping to create a spreadsheet to make comparing different university options a bit easier. Aiding their student-athletes in evaluating a coach’s level of interest.
- Parents can ‘look over the shoulder’ of their child in sending emails to college coaches, but do NOT take the lead or initiative on the child’s behalf.
- Create a mock interview of potential conversational topics for their son or daughter with a college coach for in person or on phone calls.
- Pick up a copy of Looking for a FULL RIDE?: An Insider’s Recruiting Guide
Would you like help with the college recruiting process?
1. Go to www.lookingforafullride.com to get your FREE Report: Strategies to Emailing A College Coach.
2. Want some help with the recruiting process? Join some of our 9 Facebook Groups:
- Parents of High School Student Athletes Walking Through The Process (All Sports)
- Beyond Xs & Os 4 HS Athletes: Health, Recruiting, Team Building, Mental Training (All Sports)
- Athletic Recruiting Education for Principals, AD's, and Counselors (All Sports)
- Club/HS Coaches Learning College Recruiting Process (All Sports)
- Play College Soccer (Soccer Specifically)
- College Recruiting for GK's (Soccer Specifically)
- Mindset & Leadership Lessons for Athletes, Coaches/Teachers, & Business Leaders (All Sports & Business Leaders)
- Positive Team Building for Pro, College, HS & Youth Coaches (All Sports)
- Christian Competitors (Coaches & Athletes Serving Christ @Field/Court/Gym) (Sports Ministry for All)
3. Would you like her to do individual consulting with your family to get an insider’s perspective?
Email info@lookingforafullride.com for more details.
4. Did you know Coach Renee Lopez can come to your school or sports organization?
Email info@lookingforafullride.com for more details.
Coach Renee Lopez
As a 17 year coaching veteran, Renee Lopez is a recruiting expert for high school student athletes. She uses her NCAA Division I, II, and NAIA Head Coaching experience to help families navigate the recruiting process to be identified by college coaches and help them find the right “fit” for playing at the next level.
She presents recruiting seminars across the country, has recently been featured on ESPN Radio, and is the author of the book, “Looking For A FULL RIDE?: An Insider’s Recruiting Guide” where she interviewed 65 college recruiters across all sports and college levels.
She also does private consulting for student-athletes and their families to help in understanding the often daunting process of recruiting. (See one family’s testimonial.) If you are looking for help in the college recruiting process, please email Coach Renee Lopez at info@lookingforafullride.com.
Great advice. Parents, just don’t do it! It is a guarantee that college won’t recruit your child.
Thank you James! Yes!
Another reason why some parents end up doing the contacting for the child is bc it could also mean the parent is more interested in pursuing a college level playing experience they never had for themselves or they did have so now that means to them that their child should as well. Some parents do not understand that their child may not really have the desire to play at the next level even if they are talented enough to do so. The child probably may only want to play intramural or club and not NCAA or not at all.
As for some parents they can definitely miss those signs.
Some parents can be so blinded to what they’re child really wants and needs that they don’t care bc in their hearts they know what’s best for their child.
So, now the child ends up continuing to play a sport(s) at the next level that they never wanted to play at in the first place. Now, Its likely they may not turn out to give 100% or be the best teammate or student of the game like they should. Some kids have other interests when they pirsue and reach the college level and that may not include playing a sport at all.
Parents can defnititly ruin it for their child and not realize the impact it can leave on them threw their college experience and there after.
Absolutely true! I definitely have seen a few of those situations. They typically don’t stick around playing for 4 years. It’s very important for parents and coaches to actually ask a kid if they want to play in college and not just assume they do just because their teammates do or because they get an opportunity!
I have a question: We are allowing are daughter to make all the contacts with coaches to let them know that she is interested in their school for both academic and athletic. We have helped her and filled her list with the top 50 colleges and are on our way. We notify coaches of which tournament we will be playing in case they are present – they can come by and watch hopefully.
As we put together our profiles and information for the first time, i have seen some athletes put together something similar to their own website – which showcases their skills, academic achievements, community, awards, video clips, stats and skills.
My question is this – is it okay to put together a website for her for all of this information? She would send a well written email to any coaches with the link to her site, which would have everything. Professionally done but not to professional – just enough to allow her to stand out. It would be streamlined with the right info and have everything at their fingertips with one link. Versus going through a site which we know nothing about and putting this role into someone else’s hands. Is this a good option to put together a website for her if done correctly?
Thanks for your opinions!!!
Putting something together with sites that say they can help has me worried – i don’t want to put that sort of task on someone else and hope they do their part on the other end. My daughter is on a role and we think that a site just for her would allow to stand out.
YES! I would password protect any of your private info though…phone number, email, hs, etc…I am completely against allowing others to do this through a “recruiting service”. Coaches will look at a website. You didnt mention what year she is nor what sport she plays, so that could impact how many views you get. I would encourage you to join our parent facebook group (at the bottom of my blogs) where we answer questions like this all the time 🙂
Renee – thank you for your input and good advise. She is a sophomore and plays volleyball. 5’6 and plays all around – amazing player but has her work cut out for her.
Thanks again!
I recently saw that some athletes are using “recruiting resumes” to attach to their emails. I made one for my prospective swimmer. He told me that it looks awesome, and he won’t use it because it’s too professional and obviously not done by him. What is your opinion on recruiting resumes?
Coaches appreciate them…all of the an athlete’s info on one page is very helpful. I would encourage you to have him send them out with a personalized email to the coaches!
is there an online version of your book or only hard copy?
We only released a paperback. You can purchase at http://www.lookingforafullride.com if in the USA or Canada. If other international, please email info@lookingforafullride.com
Is it worth it to pay 3K for NCSA College Recruiting? Or is it just better for us to do the work?
I just found out about you Renee! Just joined your FB group and ordered your book! Wondering if it is too late to start the process of emailing coaches. My son is a Junior playing Varsity basketball in high school. It is just this year that my son decides to want to play in College and we are in so much need of advice. Is it too late?
300% not needed. Please join our FB group for parents (link at the bottom of the blog) & pick up a copy of lookingforafullride.com and that is all you need!
Just need to start putting in the work now…the book will walk you through the entire process.
Please join our FB group for parents (link at the bottom of the blog) & the book is all you need!